What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is based on much of the same principles as CBT, however, instead of engaging in a lifelong battle with our negative thoughts and emotions, ACT helps you build a radically new relationship with them.
ACT helps put you back in the driver’s seat of your life instead of letting anxiety, depression or another struggle do all the driving.
ACT views the mind from an evolutionary perspective, seeing our brains as oriented toward protection above all else.
That is, how we learned to respond to danger or threats is what has kept us going, for as long as we’ve been alive. In other words, the mind, through lots of trial and error, has learned how to keep us safe at all costs.
For example, if you were a hunter-gatherer on a hunt and you entered an area where you had previously seen a pack of wolves or a sabertooth tiger, forgetting this could have dire consequences—you could become a snack!
While most of us aren’t worried about tigers chasing us anymore, our modern minds react to stress in the same way: we think if something bad happened to us before, we assume it will happen again.
Because our minds are problem-solving machines, when we encounter difficulties we often try to solve the problem as quickly as possible. However, often the real “problem” is that some of the ways our mind tries to problem solve are not always helpful, and instead can be harmful, taking you farther away from what matters to you most. For example, say you desperately want authentic connection with another person, but because of hurts in the past your mind tells you to avoid relationships altogether. While this could indeed keep you from getting hurt by another person, it could also lead to a life of loneliness.
Thus, some of the ways our mind tries to problem solve while effective in the short-term, can create problems in the long-term.
For example, when it comes to trying to deal with anxiety, we may find that some things help more than others. That is, we may discover a newfound love for craft beer or wine, which helps us feel less anxious (at least temporarily). But sometimes we begin to love it a little too much and it starts to create other problems—like destructive habits, relationship problems and so on.
Distraction is normal, but unsustainable.
In ACT, we conceptualize distraction as “experiential avoidance” or as expert ACT trainer Russ Harris defines it, “Trying to avoid, get rid of, suppress, or escape from unwanted ‘private experiences’”—that is, the things only you know and would have to tell others about (i.e., memories, thoughts, feelings, urges, sensations, and so on).
While distraction is something we all do, when it becomes the only thing we do this is where things like normal anxiety can turn into clinical anxiety, meaning that it starts to rule your life.
In fact, from the lens of ACT, psychopathology is seen as the division of the self by a thousand cuts (i.e., constant and relentless attempts at distraction from our problems).
The point here is that we all try to distract from whatever it is we’re dealing with (again, because we are programmed to avoid pain and discomfort).
What this boils down to is this: distraction works, but it doesn’t last.
Again, distraction can be useful and comforting and sometimes exactly what we need. When it’s out-of-balance, however, it can be a real bear—it can drain you like nothing else because it divides your energy and you in the process.
In fact, research shows us that suppression, over time, can have the unwanted opposite effect of making intrusive thoughts and feelings worse—it can increase how often they show up and how heavy we feel them.
How does ACT work?
ACT is based on the idea of acceptance (more on this below) and taking a committed action toward value-driven goals. Another way to think about this is to view “acceptance” as telling the truth. That is, instead of trying to lie or minimize how we’re feeling we want to acknowledge what shows up, when it shows up, even if that means noticing when it shows up all the time.
In other words, to turn the “signal” off we have to first recognize (or be wiling to admit) that the signal is on. The point is you cannot not change what you don’t notice. Thus, part of ACT is learning how to pay attention purposefully. Most often, this is something we have to learn to do—it’s a skill we must work to develop.
What acceptance is NOT:
Sometimes people think of acceptance as “faking it until you make it.” However, “acceptance” from an ACT perspective, is not about tolerating or white-knuckling your way through unwanted thoughts or emotions or trying to make them go away. Instead, real acceptance is learning to drop the struggle so that you are not pushed around by your thoughts and emotions, and can decide what action you want to take.
Acceptance is also NOT about approval or passive resignation—it’s not giving about giving in to whatever it is we’re facing. Acceptance IS about acknowledging what is true and getting out of the boxing ring with our thoughts and emotions.
The good news is that all of us, no matter who we are, can learn to tune-in more; we can learn to adjust the dial so we can hear the drums better, and once we’re aware of the beat, we can decide wether to keep the tempo or change it.
Take the example of a funeral— one of the few places that we can openly cry and show our sadness, so most of us naturally accept our sadness here:
We already know how to practice acceptance.
Now imagine that we try to “fix” the sadness. Either of those solutions may start with the thought “Oh I might cry soon. I can’t cry, if I do I’ll look weak.” So you try to (1) argue with it. “You shouldn’t be sad now, you should be calm to help those around you,” etc. or (2) you try to distract yourself (e.g., focusing on others, using substances, etc.).
In either case, you inevitably find yourself in a long-term struggle wrestling with those difficult feelings of sadness. The more you struggle, the more you become defined by the emotion you are trying to “solve.” Eventually, the only lasting solution is to accept our sadness and come to terms with it at that moment.
Science is proving more and more every day that our emotions are in many ways comparable to quicksand.
If we become focused on fighting them, we end up being sucked into their power. If we try to ignore it, we don’t fix the underlying issue. In fact, When it comes to quicksand the correct approach is to lay down on your back to increase the surface area on the top of the pool, and then roll your way out of it.
Similar to quicksand, when it comes to our emotions our entire evolution and mind have evolved to “fight” the quicksand, so accepting the situation and laying down takes an enormous amount of willpower. ACT works by allowing us to think clearly for the first time, develop an accurate understanding of our emotions and help us live life instead of fighting it.
It’s about getting reconnected.
When you starting paying attention, you start to rediscover parts of yourself you thought were lost. You also discover parts of yourself that you never knew were there, or that the parts you’ve been scared to look at don’t have the power over you once thought they had (undoing self-imposed limitations).
This paying attention stuff is so rewarding, especially when you use it to your advantage; when you leverage it to move toward the things that give you the greatest sense of security and safety: living and being true to what’s important to you (your values).
This is one of the places where therapy can be really beneficial—it help you get reconnected to you, so that you can figure out what path is right for you.
We believe that investing in yourself or in your brain (which you will have until your final goodbye) is one of the best investments you can ever make. It can literally help you change the course you’re on, so you no longer feel like you’re in the passenger’s seat of your own life.